Me Too. By Geniusofdespair

I cannot even begin to count the times I have been sexually harassed at the work place or there was  inappropriate sex speak. In those days, women just ignored it.  I suppose I was a minimizer and I can't imagine what I was signaling with body language.  My most interesting incident was when I was in my 30's.

My boss had a construction crew in his office. I went in and there was a drill of some sort sitting in the middle of the room. It had an electric cord and it sat about 3 feet high. I had never seen anything like it. I looked at my boss and said: "What is that?" 

In front of the half dozen men he said: "That is your vibrator."

All eyes turned to me. I said: "That isn't my vibrator, I kick start my vibrator" and I left the room.

How to Open a Coconut Without Tools. By Geniusofdespair

Your Sunday Tutorial from Eye on Miami:



The guy talks about conserving energy while opening a coconut, yet he is lifting and hurling a 30 or 40 pound rock at  it. Does that not take some energy?

Our Spam. By Geniusofdespair

This is an example of spam left in our comments. There is a dead giveaway in it:

Hiya very cool blog!! Man .. Excellent .. Superb .. I'll bookmark your website and take the feeds additionally? I'm satisfied to find a lot of useful information here within the submit, 

Not one REAL reader has ever said in the 10 years we have had this blog, nor in the 81,000 comments we have published: "Useful Information". But almost every spammer says they find "useful information" here. Lying scum. Since when do we provide useful information?

Deathy Afraid during the Dog Days of Summer...by Geniusofdespair

What could I be so afraid of? Donald Trump? Dying? Food Poisoning?

I don't think you can guess what I am so afraid of.

It is trying to put on my magnetic eyelashes again. I put them in a box and have not opened them since the first time I tried.

I have an eye problem and cannot use mascara or eyelash glue. I wanted some dazzle for my upcoming birthday, so I ordered these lashes with little magnets on them and they snap easily onto your own lashes...or so they say. Not true.

The company has a help line to call if you can't get them on. The woman who answered said try tweezers (of course we all know metal, attracts magnets so the eye lashes kept sticking to the tweezers). I questioned her further. Turns out she never used them.

I tried to put them on for about an hour. I poked my eye a couple of times. I spent a lot of time on the floor looking for them because the top lashes needed the bottom lashes to hold them. They were clipped sideways on the end of my lashes a few times. The big problem, I couldn't get the top lashes to stay on my lids. According to the video, they were supposed to include a white cloth in case they fell. They didn't include it. The magnet sandwich just doesn't work well. I guess I will give up on the dazzle and accept my scrawny lashes because I don't even know if magnets are safe for my eyes. I know my Doctor would say don't use them so I didn't bother to ask. Anyway, I am too scared to reopen the box. It is sitting there, looking very frightening on my dresser, taunting me to try once again.

This video mirrors my experience.



Now I have the chore of sending them back. I was really just curious more than anything. I admit, I was very, very stupid.

On another note....

I have been binge watching "Game of Thrones". I am up to Season 4. It is getting dumber.  The dwarf and his dad are certainly the best actors in the series. I have avoided long running stuff since "Lost". I just hated that ending.  But now I am stuck in the GOT loop of death and sex.

On a third note... 

I am studying Spanish with Roseta Stone. I don't quite get it. I religiously do it every day but not much is happening yet. I do know what a toilet bowl is called in Spanish. This is what Rosetta Stone said in reply to my question of the need for a dictionary:

"We do not teach you conversational language by translation but by a pedagogical approach known as Dynamic Immersion."

So I will continue to do it and wait for something to happen. 4 years of Spanish in high school didn't help, maybe this will. La Computadora esta en el dormitorio.

I had a rude awakening in the Dollar Store. I understood some of what this guy was saying to his friend. I asked what country they were from because their Spanish was so clear, and they said the United States. I thought why would he say that? Then I realized he might have thought I was from immigration since I looked so official sans good eyelashes. Oops.

And finally LAST BUT NOT LEAST....


CBS4 News Documentary -- Jim DeFede. You must hit the link...really.

When toxic blue-green algae shut down beaches and businesses on the Treasure Coast in 2016, it prompted a political and economic crisis throughout the state.

CBS4 News spent a year tracking the causes of the algae bloom and how the ensuing debate pitted hard-pressed communities against one another.

Watch the entire special here THIS IS THE DIRECT LINK. Here it is again if you would rather do it your own way.

http://miami.cbslocal.com/the-everglades-where-politics-money-race-collide/


What kind of stupid stuff are you doing this summer?

1965: James Baldwin vs. William Buckley. By Geniusofdespair

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN....for white folks. We haven't moved very far from what James Baldwin said (in this debate) in the past fifty years.

Start at 14 minutes...James Baldwin.

Historic debate between James Baldwin v. William F. Buckley Jr. at Cambridge University on the question: "Is the American Dream at the expense of the American Negro?"

The Ides of April: Looking Back on Annoying Stuff. By Geniusofdespair

Saturday: I get reflective...

Airbnb: Seriously, aren't neighbors annoying enough? Do we have to add another layer to neighborly? I don't even want my neighbors, so why would I want strangers to rent their house? Good for Tomas Regalado for objecting. Now the City of Miami is being sued by Airbnb. Scratching my head on that one.

Neo Nazis and Marine Le Pen: Along with England and France, we have our own resurgence of Nazis and thanks to Steve Bannon they think they have power.

We are in a new Century why are we still talking about Nazis? Seriously kids, they were not good people. So take off your Othala Rune T shirt.

I blame it all on Gamers that are too stupid and socially stunted to do anything else (like go outdoors) so they are prone to get into ideological trouble. They sit in their bedrooms and live in a video world: It is the dark side of the computer revolution, getting muscle memory on pulling the trigger.  It is an imaginary world where Nazis can be heroes.

Video Game

Gamers also follow a frog called Pepe and have made it a hero and the frog is also a bridge to the Neo Nazis/white supremacist movement. Granted I used to have feelings for a frog "plunk your magic twanger froggy" but I was a little kid, not of voting age.

My Childhood Frog: Froggy the Gremlin cute frog but mischievous.

Today's Frog for misguided adults....Pepe, designated as a hate symbol by the Anti Defamation League.

 Note to Alt Right, Neo Nazis, White Supremacists, and gamers -- we fought a war against the Nazis. It isn't a game, it was a tragedy.  Why would you want to go backwards?

Taxes: I hope you all paid you taxes. Really, I don't give a shit but I am reminding you all the same.  And if you don't know why you pay taxes on April 15th look up the "Ides of March", and thank William Shakespeare for the extra month.

I Asked God, He Said Write About Pudding. By Geniusofdespair

I do give a lot of thought to what I write about each day but not today. God came to me after dinner last night and said: "Write about Pudding"... and all became clear in an instant. (He also talked to me about the Alt Right but that is another post).

The Store-Bought Pudding Face-Off

The Contenders

Many of you might be wondering where Jell-O brand is. It didn't make the runoff. Swiss Miss and Hershey's waited anxiously for the taste test.

The two puddings were placed in identical bowls with identical spoons. On the bottom of each bowl is the initial of the pudding's brand name. The taste test was conducted. Thousands of people participated. But only me and the spouse count, me mostly.

And the winner of the taste test was:

Hershey's Chocolate pudding.  Congratulations Hersey's Chocolate Pudding. Full disclosure, Cadbury fans are boycotting Hershey's but I am sure none of us really care about what the British are doing and I don't think the pudding is involved anyway.

How To Punish Your Teen Child Under 16. By Geniusofdespair

Your child did something pretty bad and that belt is looking mighty handy.

You can withhold their cell phone or have them attend my Master Class. I will be glad to conduct one for you. I am a teacher by trade. You can show your child the Curriculum for the class to scare the hell out of them. They will gladly give up their cell phone. But I will be glad to conduct the class for them if they decide that is what they would rather do.

Choice: No Cell Phone or Attend the Master Class

Master Class Curriculum

Etiquette
Discussion on the Thank You note
Hand Write sample Thank You notes
Discussion on what constitutes Surly behavior and how to avoid it
When to put away your cell phone

Politics
The 3 branches of the Federal Government
Memorize the Judges of the Supreme Court
Memorize all the questions asked by Justice Clarence Thomas during oral arguments

Art
Sorry I meant to write: Art History
The Movement from the Byzantine to the Renaissance with an emphasis on the pivotal art of Giotto

Photography
Discussion on proper pictures to post on line. i.e. No tongues out in any picture.

Journalism
What is the role of a newspaper in society.
The Fourth Estate
The Fifth Estate

Koch Brothers
Who are they? Discussion on Libertarians and Vanity Fair Napkins

Environmental News
Sugar Pollution
The Fish Kill in Florida, Algae Blooms, Injection Wells and Fracking
Lessons we should have learned from Fukushima and Chernobyl

Pop Quiz: Name the Mayor, Governor, the two US Senators, your  US Congressman/woman and all the candidates running for President. What is Little Boy, Fat Man and Enola Gay. If you score 100% you do not have to write the blog post.

Blog Post
Write one blog suitable for posting on any of the above, and it will be posted.

Movie Time
Your parents choose: Clockwork Orange, Z, Walkabout, Kandahar, Sophie's Choice

Actually parents, rather than just take away their cell phone, a meaningful film viewing and discussion would be worth its weight in gold.

My Abrázame Campaign. By Geniusofdespair

My Abrázame Campaign is moving along at super speed, I started it a month ago because of some friction I was seeing between  European Jewish and Hispanic women at the Michael-Ann Russell Jewish Community Center. A Hispanic woman from Peru was left in tears because she was scolded for speaking Spanish, I gave her a hug and so my campaign began. I hope it catches on with everyone.

I actually go up to strangers now and with arms out-stretched say: Abrázame! Which means "hug me" in Spanish. I don't know a lot of Spanish but this appears to be a very potent phrase to know. This campaign has been an enormous success. I have gotten nearly 100 hugs and about 90 smiles and you know what? It feels good.

Granted I am not a guy and I am not threatening looking, I also practice good hygiene. I always get a hug and sometimes a big smile. As the embrace ends, I say "Everybody needs a Hug." The last man I hugged said "thank you." The one before said "Yes, everyone needs a hug" then he gave me a big smile. I hug women too, I said ABRÁZAME to a woman on line in CVS and got my hug. She looked pretty depressed. I said it at the Orchid Festival at Fairchild Garden and got a bunch of hugs there. Got a few downtown on the street Monday.

Anyway, I hope I leave good vibes and add to my good karma. Who cares if some people think I am wacky. I don't care one bit.

Opps one more thing, It helps A LOT if your target understands Spanish.

Thought of the Day! By Geniusofdespair

We've talked about the Black Bears and the Manatees. Now What? By Geniusofdespair

Death Row Inmates at Raiford - I am sure they are not fond of people who are annoying.

The Blog Etiquitte Guru Says...we are killing black bears because they go through your garbage and we are not protecting manatees because their protection makes you go slow with your boat. But we haven't figured out the biggest problem.

What do we do about all the annoying people here in South Florida? You, annoying people, you know who you are. You like to cut in on auto lines waiting to turn and then curse and wave your fist if no one will let you cut in. You are the one that swerves in front of a car without enough room, causing them to have to break abruptly. Additionally:

You don't wash your hands in the bathroom.

You vote when you don't know who your voting for. Cuban, Black, White, that is all you need to know. Please do not vote if you don't know what you are doing.

You ignore the rules, they are for the OTHER people not you.

You blast your music so others can't enjoy their own. Person: I don't like your damn music.

You abuse the health system going to the emergency room for non threatening illness.

You are a developer who makes promises to homeowners and then reneges on them.

You text/make calls while you drive and don't pay attention to driving.

You lift solemn promises to the public like long term deed restrictions.

You are a chronic bully putting slapp suits on anyone you don't agree with.

You flood bad politicians with big bucks for your own selfish motives.

You have walled off the waterfront from the public with your McMansion.

You get my drift. You probably have done some of these annoying things: Stop it!

But what do we do about chronically annoying people? I say we have a people hunt. Maybe we don't kill them (maybe) but we drive them up to Tallahassee and leave them there to annoy our legislature en masse. Or we can drive them over the border of Florida and throw them out of the bus in Georgia, or just leave them in Starke:

Starke, Florida is poised for continued growth for years to come. Whether you have lived in Starke all your life, or have recently moved here, you will quickly understand that it is a very special place. 

Yes it is a place where a private citizen can be paid $150 per execution they perform. My vote would be to sentence everyone who is annoying to live in Starke for one full year. It is only a 20 minute drive to Raiford State prison (11 miles). When the South Florida annoying people return they would have some sense beaten into them by the the many prisons guards that live around there. You don't annoy off duty prison guards for long nor do you slapp a lawsuit on them. In case you want to look at prisoners, here is your chance. It is good reading, you even get a description of all their tats. You can see the 'way beyond' annoying people the prison guards in Starke are dealing with.

You Won't Believe What Happened to This Baby Duck While I Watched - OMG. By Geniusofdespair

Nothing happened to the damn baby duck. I am trying to get your attention. I spent a lot of time writing yesterday's post. Now go back and read it and leave the message: "I read your damn post."

If I am going to work for free I need better numbers on my time consuming posts. Why am I doing this otherwise? You can hate it and disagree with it, but you have to read it. And while you are at it, you might read my Saturday post too. I worked Saturday guys...for you... doing research because you are too lazy to do your own.

Consider that your Christmas present to me. Do it or I will post more pictures of my eye operation. I have plenty worse (more blood - yes I had blood gushing out of one eye) than the one I posted that will really gross you out.

Aside: This is our most popular post in the history of Eye on Miami.

Saturday's Free For All. By Geniusofdespair

No free products. Sorry, what is free: For you to discuss any topic on your mind (not me). Reach a larger audience with your message on Eye on Miami. You cannot accuse someone of a crime but pretty much, you are free to discuss what you would like. Again -- no vendettas. I don't enjoy reading Hatfield and McCoy type feuds.

You can tell us about your event coming up, your family, your campaign, plug your business...go ahead.

Anger Management: None Here. By Geniusofdespair

Keeping track of a blog, 2 Facebook pages, a Twitter account, 5 email accounts (and not knowing half the passwords when I want to post) is a frustrating daily ritual for someone technologically challenged.  I can remember a Financial Disclosure Form Donation but not a password (in 3 minutes it is forgotten).  I can't work the phone, all my apps were downloaded with a few different passwords and when I enter my information to change the password, the mobile doesn't recognize any of it.  My computer is a mess, operating at a snail's pace. So I am super frustrated with technology. All of it! Even my car is a challenge, it beeps all the time and changes screens at will. I tried to adjust the mirror and got emergency response that asked me for a password to cancel.

Yesterday, I went to use the bike in our health club to unwind (a high technology bike I can hardly manage it has so many 'enter' buttons). The TV is very hard to work as the last person in the room presses all the buttons and nothing works right. After dealing with the TV and the bike, I tried to set the temperature in the room to cool it from 84 degrees but it has all kinds of extra buttons (6 or 7 of them) so I couldn't just set a cool temperature. There are timers and what have you. It was hot. I was cranky. I had to reset the bike every time I got up to fix the TV and thermostat (that wouldn't kick in). What else could I do...I ripped the damn thermostat off of the wall and left.

It felt good...too good.

My lesser (angry) half saw the thermostat and went ballistic. Really, who could get mad at a spouse for brutalizing a thermostat? Well, we are still not talking.

The thermostat is a symptom of so much more: It represents everything that is wrong in our society even Donal Trump running for president. I plead the 5th.

Florida Inland Navigation District: FIND. By Geniusofdespair

The meeting is going on right now in Cocoa Beach. Don't know what it is? Well, look at your tax bill. It is a separate  line item you pay taxes on (the lowest tax on your bill) to keep your waterways and public water bodies maintained. They are doling out the money as I type. The city of Miami has more than 14 applications and about the County has about 5 where is Ft. Lauderdale, maybe they present on Saturday. The catch: the money must be matched and the area must remain public. Dan Pal Park got FIND money. Spencer Crowley is our Miami-Dade representative on FIND, he makes no money for this work. He helps get the money for us. I am in Cocoa Beach so I know what it going on with the 2 day yearly meeting. Land locked--- forget about it. Must be  navigable water. This is a big pot of money, I am surprised the legislature hasn't commandeered it.

Written on my iPhone, on the beach, under a towel so cut me some slack

What to write about? By Geniusofdespair

3 Candidates for the open District 8 seat in 2010, Pam, Albert and Eugene. Eugene Flinn went on to win the primary and Lynda Bell came in second. She won the election on absentee ballots. She won by a little over 300 votes out of a little over 43,000 votes cast.

You might say: "Genius, why do you write about certain things?"

One of my favorite things to write about is Miami Dade County. That has always been my focus since we started the blog in 2006. When we started there were a few blogs already writing about the dysfunctional City of Miami. So the dysfunctional County was a good second and no one was writing about that. Most people who live in cities have no idea who their County Commissioner is. Ask your friends. They have no idea there are 2 layers of government in the County, they think it is only their city. We have 658 posts about the County Commission. Eye on Miami (mostly from me) has 363 posts on Natacha Seijas and 137 on Lynda Bell but I and Gimleteye have only written 79 on Pepe Diaz and 62 on Bruno Barreiro. Why?

I would say back to you that I consider the ones I write about bullies on the Commission. I consider them the ones that can do the most damage because of their power. Lynda Bell was a one term Mayor of Homestead because she was a bully there. Also, they give me a lot to write about because of what they do.

It is no secret that I was a big fan of Katy Sorenson. I helped Eugene Flinn during his campaign as much as I could. Lynda Bell's win was a big disappointment to me and a second win would be as well. I am now a fan of candidate Daniella Levine Cava for that seat. I knew her before she ran and I was always impressed with her. She is articulate, smart, funny, and has heart. She cares about the little people, all people. She is a breath of fresh air. If she wins she will be a voice of the people. I am not in District 8 but all commissioners govern all of us.

Gimleteye wrote 189 posts on big sugar, 203 about Jeb Bush and 209 about global warming. We both have our favorite subjects. Right now mine is the election in County Commission District 8. Why only District 8 when there are 6 Commissioners up for reelection? So far there are no viable candidates against any of the others.

We have 472 posts about elections so you know we care about elections. I have written 4,140 posts since this blog began so in the scheme of things, I write about just about anything and everything. Have you read about my colonoscopy?

We accept guest blogs (we have 210), if you have an idea send us an email and tell us about what you want to write about.

There is a good article on Mayor Gimenez in the Miami Herald today, don't miss it (we have 72 posts on him). From the Herald:

It’s not just commissioners who have struggled to be heard. One of Gimenez’s main challenges is to listen to the different political groups that made up the broad coalition that got him elected, said Annette Taddeo-Goldstein, chairwoman of the Miami-Dade Democratic Party. Many Democrats backed Gimenez, but the party has been an increasingly louder voice of dissent at County Hall.

The mayor did a better job this month of bringing groups into a debate over new voting precincts, Taddeo-Goldstein said. But that was after initially not reaching out to them at all — a pattern that has given Gimenez’s administration a reputation of being somewhat isolated.

Colonoscopy preparation in detail. By Geniusofdespair

Your best friend during a colonoscopy prep....

 Don't worry I wouldn't do that to you -- give it to you in detail. I only have a bit of advice. Don't mix all the powder in the same flavored drink. No matter how much you like the flavor at first you will gag on it after a while. Have at least three flavors on hand to mix with the dreaded powder. I guarantee if you use one type of drink flavor, at the end you will never drink that drink flavor ever again. Goodbye lemon lime Gatorade. Colonoscopy preparation is not for sissies. The worst possible scenario is that you don't do it right and the doctor sends you home and says you have to do it over again because he can't see your colon innards. That happened to my neighbor.

The thing they don't tell you is eat light the night before your preparation. Don't have a steak because that'll guarantee a problem. It takes longer to pass through your intestines and could require a repeat performance. You never want to repeat a prep. That is my best advice EVER.

To all those who believe everything they see on the internet: This is not Travon Martin. By Geniusofdespair

I heard the argument, "Why does the media keep publishing such a young photo of Travon Martin when he looks like this?" (and people show me this photo above).

This is not Travon Martin. It is Jayceon Terrell Taylor, also known as Game, a 32-year-old rapper from Compton, Calif., near Los Angeles.

If you want to see the most recent photo of Travon Martin this is the link. Warning: they are crime scene photos and they will make you cry, he is just a kid.

Tetanus Shots are Cost Prohibitive. By Geniusofdespair

I stepped on a nail that went through my running shoes. I got a small puncture wound and treated it myself. I hadn't had a tetanus shot for more than 10 years so I called my doctor to get one. No dice. Doctor's in Florida don't give them they said. I called around to those emergency care places, Walgreens, CVS Mini Clinics, no one administered tetanus shots. I was told over and over to go to the health department. I looked up the address of the health department and also pictured the wait time to be similar to the DMV wait. I said to myself - F--k this, I am just going to the emergency room.

The emergency room did not treat my puncture wound. They just looked at it. They gave me a tetanus shot and send me home. That shot cost me almost $1,000 -- well not me my insurance carrier. Something is very wrong when you have to go to a health department location to get a tetanus shot or pay almost $1,000.



I just called the health department they charge $55 and it is at least a 45 minute wait they said (don't know if I trust that). It would also have taken me about an hour and half (round trip) to get there - not in traffic. I think I made the right choice for me -- not for our economy.  Yes, I am  selfish sometimes too.

Miami Locations of the Health Department

The 2013 Fort Lauderdale Air Show. By Geniusofdespair

Security was beefed up, but the Fort Lauderdale Air and Sea Show was devoid of Black Diamonds and Blue Angels. It was fun all the same. I especially liked the RedBull aerobatic helicopter flying upside down. Chuck Aaron is the only pilot doing these helicopter tricks. That was worth the trip. They even had the Goodyear blimp doing very slow aerobatics. The engine was racing so loud on that blimp I thought it would explode. You can go today, a repeat performance starts at 1p.m. Here is a link to a video of Aaron in flight in case you can't go to the air show today.

Flying in close formation.

Bomb sniffing dogs were checking out all the trash containers.

Oblivious to the air show going on around them, these kids were having a glorious time.