Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Happy Father's Day! Right. By Geniusofdespair


My friend, since I was a wild and reckless teen, told me my father was a prick yesterday.

It felt good to hear that. Someone who knew him well was able to commiserate with me.

Not all fathers are good nor are all mothers. The holiday's celebrating them just hits some of us with pain, bringing back memories we choose to leave in the past. We can never forget but gee, don't need them here clogging up my head all day today.

Monday, September 07, 2015

Thinking about my father, the refugee ... by gimleteye

At Eye On Miami, we have written nearly ten thousand blog posts. Very few of mine have been personal stories. Here is one.

Seventy odd years ago, as World War II fizzled to an end, my father had a choice. He had survived the last of a series of slave labor camps and returned to his city in Hungary where all the Jews had vanished in the final convulsions of the Holocaust. He decided to walk to Munich. He was in his early twenties, thin and gaunt and barely survived the winter of 1944. He was somewhere in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania when the Soviet army overtook the fleeing Nazis.

My father embarked on the same walk to Germany as tens of thousands of fleeing Syrians, Afghanis, and Libyans today. In just about every way his walk was different from the one on television news. He possessed nothing of his own. Not his shoes. Not his clothes. There was no media present. No photographs to document what he would later describe as a petrifying march through fields laced with German mines, staying off roads patrolled by the Soviets looking for slaves of their own to ship to Siberia.

To his dying day, my father was grateful to the US Army. He enlisted to help repatriate Jewish survivors or facilitate their route to Palestine. Two years later, he emigrated to the United States. The rest is family history, including the quiet, comfort and security from which I write these words.

The exodus from the Mideast today is horrifying on its own levels. It is a perfect storm; a tangle of contradictions and difficulties from which clarity seems impossible to extract.

First of all, Syrian government and their brutal adversaries, ISIS -- are sworn enemies of Israel.

Germany, responsible for the Holocaust in which my grandparents perished, has been buckling for decades under the costs of absorbing Muslim refugees from the Mideast, including Turkey. And not just Germany. France. Denmark. Italy. Greece.

Second, democracy in the United States has been badly weakened by the rise of right-wing extremism. For instance while GOP candidates for president struggle to outdo each other with how great America is, income inequality paints an entirely different story: voters struggling to make ends meet, turned off from civic participation, and fearful.

Thirdly, the mass migration is turning into a flood with no sign or prospect of ending. To ISIS, Al Qaeda and other ultra violent factions; history counts for nothing. By blowing up temples and cultural landmarks, by randomly killing civilians with whatever form of asymmetrical weaponry is available; they are determined to chase millions out of a resource-starved region buckling under a fourth factor: climate change.

Global warming is the game changer. Every strategy Western and Eastern politics have adopted to delay and obfuscate the consequences of carbon economies could be dissolved by mass migration, but even if we -- miraculously -- adapted away from fossil fuel based economies, it still will not address the migration crisis.

Israel is America's anchor in a region of the world where US foreign policy, for at least a century, has organized to protect an industrial system based on cheap Mideast oil. Lastly, the intransigence of two major players, Russia and China, makes effective, coordinated response to terrorism impossible. Russia could have solved the Syrian tragedy decades ago, but it was too welded to an alliance with Syria and Iran, implacable enemies of Israel, to do anything constructive. Today, Russia is paralyzed by a thuggish, unpredictable dictator and doing less than any other nation in Europe to carry the costs of the mass migration. The government of China is too caught up in its own vortexes; its leadership fearful of losing control of its own unstable economy.

This, in brief, retraces the path my father took seventy years ago, out of Hungary -- a nation that spurned its Jews -- to Germany and freedom in the United States.

When Greed Sets In, Memory of You Fades. By Geniusofdespair

 As far as dying, over and over again I see people fighting over wills and what the dead person left to them (My Cousin died while I was away in Italy and it has me thinking a lot about death). She left all her money to people who want to adopt children (to pay the cost). Her family is not very happy.

I intend to spend all my money. I just don't care. I will be dead, but the bequeaths do leave the family in shambles. A lot of my family is already dysfunctional so it won't be something new. Sorry for you all who are trying so hard to make everyone happy and love your family. I have been through it. No matter what you do, you will leave fighting in your wake.

Iz had the best memorial service ever -- 46,000,000 people watched it on this memorial video, watch till the end (I don't think my urn would be that large):


Monday, December 29, 2014

Christmas: A bitter pill. By Geniusofdespair

I was 7 or 8 years old. It was Christmas Eve and I went to my father and said: "Daddy I can't sleep." He helped me in the only way he knew how.  He emptied the contents of a Tuinal (a barbiturate) capsule in a glass of water and gave it to me to drink. To say it was bitter was an understatement. Thank you Eli Lilly, and of course dad, for a childhood memory I can't forget. So when I say Bah Humbug! I mean it.

Happy Holidays Gimleteye, I don't believe we exchanged greetings.


I got a nasty message in response to this so I turned off responses, frankly some of you can be assholes.  I am sure all you parents have done something to your child that you regret, i.e. hire a nanny that abuses your child, make money off of destroying your child's future environment, not accepting them as they are, participating in polluting your children's drinking water, etc. so don't point fingers. Look at your own behavior. My father's abuse was very direct and obvious, your behavior might be lying to yourself about what you are doing to hurt your child's future. I see PLENTY of that and when you can finally let go of denial, make amends.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Couples, Married or not. By Geniusofdespair

 Living with another person has responsibilities and trials and tribulations.

Do you ever jump on your significant other in the middle of the night because the ceiling is caving in and you want to protect him or her? What about putting your hand under their nose to see if they are breathing, waking them up with a start?  Is the most popular word in your house "What?"  Do you make believe you like what your spouse cooked to prevent a fight? Do you look at an injured body part and give sympathy when you don't really mean it because you are focused on something else? Do you say they look good when they have a pink roller left in the back of their hair.

Guilty.

Anything you do that you care to share?

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Hey Miss Manners: Is this a Case of Great Expectations or Rude Behavior? By Geniusofdespair

Dear Miss Manners:

You might be wondering what this is. Well, it is a teenager using her cell phone on a boat ride which she did almost the entire boat ride. In her defense she did stop long enough to see a dolphin jump out of the water.

I have not seen this 13 year old child since Christmas. In my usual mode I had great expectations of what this visit with her would be like. It was pure joy.  I was so looking forward to this as I love her so much.

When she was a child she would call me and ask what I was doing, or what was in my oven. I found out she was doing to this to others as well. She would then ask the person who was doing the most interesting thing to pick her up. I lectured her on "love the one you're with."

Anyway, $50 or $60 dollars worth of gas was used for an afternoon on the cell phone. I didn't get to talk to her, except during the car ride, I found out in her move to Jacksonville she developed a love for Country Music. Hardly forgivable.  And, worse she liked a boy with Romney stickers all over his truck. OMG there is trouble to come.

Miss Manners, is it just me, would it have been correct to confiscate the cell phone or throw it over-board? When we got back to shore after my 4 hour visit, she wanted to go back to her friend's house -- I had plans to take them both for dinner to South Beach.  Are my expectations my downfall? Are they unattainable?

When I dropped her off I asked if she knew what I did since Christmas (when I had seen her for 2 hours)? She said "What?" I said do you know where I am going next month? She said "Where?" I said "Read it on my Facebook page."  As she left I mumbled something about "Love the one you're with." I sure did.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Stupid Steve. By Geniusofdespair

I once worked with a guy named Stupid Steve in an architecture office - he did drafting. Yes, I called him that to his face "Stupid Steve" and he didn't seem to mind. He was not stupid IQ wise just in life's lessons.

His most famous quote was: "Hitler ain't a bad guy." Why did he kill all the Jews, he said "To prevent them from starving." Steve was of German ancestry, no surprise there. He had many other stupid beliefs about the Nazis. No matter how I tried I couldn't change his mind...sort of like some of you readers. I learned from Steve some things are futile. It would be like trying to convince Anthony Verdugo to accept a gay person's rights.

Anyway, Steve was always amusing. I asked him once to name one Supreme Court judge and he said: "What is the Supreme Court?" I said "Do you vote Steve"? When he said no,  I said "that is very smart of you." He was very proud.

After about two years he comes in and tells me he is going on a ski trip with some of his friends. He said "there will be 3 ladies there named  Millie, Tilly and Toots." He laughed and said their names a few times, laughing each time.

What he didn't know, they were my aunts. Aunt Toots was my favorite aunt. They are all dead now. Fortunately, I lost touch with Stupid Steve. I hope he isn't bringing up children.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Things my parents told me. By Geniusofdespair


My mother told me she "was going to hit me from here to Canarsie." I had no idea where Canarsie was, nor did I ask. I just knew I didn't want to go there. Later on when I found out it was in Brooklyn and I lived in Queens, it made no sense. When explaining the facts of life my mom began with "There are birds and bees..." and ended with "Even the pope's mother did it". She often warned me about the starving children in Europe when I wasn't eating my food. I actually didn't care a lick about them at 7 years old.

I didn't understand why she was getting very, very fat. And then what happens? There was a new kid on the block - my brother - and she was skinny again. No one told me I was getting a sibling. He was just there. My father told me there was a bridge over the Atlantic Ocean. My teacher was not impressed. My father also told me I was Chinese. I am not but I believed I was and told everyone. My father once sent me into the kosher butcher and told me to buy a pound of ham. I was only a little kid and the butchers started to yell at me when I asked for it and threw me out of the store. My father was laughing hysterically when I got back in the car.

I believed in the stork, the tooth fairy and Santa Claus. I believed Flash Gordon was really in space and that the ice cream man would always come. I believe in a lot of good, the glass was always half full -- even with zany parents -- that is why I write this blog I have faith things can change, after all, I am not Chinese anymore.