Saturday, February 22, 2014

Colonoscopy preparation in detail. By Geniusofdespair


Your best friend during a colonoscopy prep....
 Don't worry I wouldn't do that to you -- give it to you in detail. I only have a bit of advice. Don't mix all the powder in the same flavored drink. No matter how much you like the flavor at first you will gag on it after a while. Have at least three flavors on hand to mix with the dreaded powder. I guarantee if you use one type of drink flavor, at the end you will never drink that drink flavor ever again. Goodbye lemon lime Gatorade. Colonoscopy preparation is not for sissies. The worst possible scenario is that you don't do it right and the doctor sends you home and says you have to do it over again because he can't see your colon innards. That happened to my neighbor.

The thing they don't tell you is eat light the night before your preparation. Don't have a steak because that'll guarantee a problem. It takes longer to pass through your intestines and could require a repeat performance. You never want to repeat a prep. That is my best advice EVER.

22 comments:

EugeneFlinn said...

Are you providing us with "inside information"?

Geniusofdespair said...

Yuk. Call me you can have all the inside information you can stomach.

Anonymous said...

My advice, hold the prep liquid in one hand and a glass of cold ginger ale in the other. Put both up to your mouth. Drink a few sips of the first and immediately follow it with a ginger ale chaser. The cold strong taste of the ginger ale slightly dilutes the horrible taste of the prep liquid.

Geniusofdespair said...

I actually had the better tasting miralax but drink 10 or 12 glasses of anything in a short period of time and you will hate it. How could you drink even more than you had to?

Bambi said...

Try the orange flavored acrylic floor polish,

it's the best in the city.

WOOF said...

I was expecting JPEGs

Geniusofdespair said...

Ick I couldn't even look at them

Anonymous said...

Must have been a pain in the ass.

Anonymous said...

there is a simpler alternative that involves dulcolax at certain intervals, with phosposoda (small bottle) at the end. equally effective, and far easier than the massive liquid thing. you can google it

Anonymous said...

And so??? everything ok I hope --

Geniusofdespair said...

Phosposoda: one laxative mixed with another laxative and the laxative pills, sounds like fun.

Anonymous said...

Found this on line:

I have had 16 colonoscopies and have tried just about all of the options out there. Really -- and I hate to tell you this -- there is no prep out there that will make it easier on you. All have intense laxative effects, cause nausea and strong abdominal cramps, and last until you have emptied out.

That said, there are things that you can do to make the experience easier. If you want to contact me through RevolutionHealth, I can give you a quazi-guide to the prep with tips and suggestions. I would love to post it here but the word limit makes it impossible.

Japolina said...

I blogged about this topic on Monday the 17th. I'm never drinking orange gatorade again.

www.japolina.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I heard some people talk shit on this site...I didn't think they meant literally.


Thanks for sharing.

Geniusofdespair said...

Where are the shoes Japolina? I want the shoes

You know who said...

There was no need for a colonoscopy. Long-time readers could have told you that you've had a bug up your ass for years.

Geniusofdespair said...

And years, and years...

Anonymous said...

i love the way you just answered Lynda Bell

Anonymous said...

Genius, so you're over 50?

Geniusofdespair said...

Or I have a family history of colon cancer, which I do.

Anonymous said...

Nice pic of the Redland Hotel!

Anonymous said...

Crappy topic for this blog.