Thursday, May 28, 2015

FIFA, "The Mother Of All Corruption Scandals" -- EOM explains it all for you ... by gimleteye

This morning we could talk about "citizen standing" and yesterday's court decision prohibiting citizens from suing on the Nail Clipper Building and other monstrosities inflicted on the Miami skyline by developers-gone-wild.

It is a funny thing how wealth confers "right": the wealthier one is, the more credence with elected officials who broadly interpret their mandates as protecting the freedoms -- not of people -- but of business interests to gain more wealth. But that's not what I want to write about today.

I like needling Eye On Miami readers about football.

I understand that for most locals (distinct from my Latin and South American friends) football remains the oval, sewn pigskin ball that Miami Dolphins throw around. For my European, Latin and South American friends, I understand that hearing the FBI and DOJ talk about the "soccer" scandal and FIFA is grating. It's football, not soccer.

On the other hand, "corruption" is the same in every language. No explanation needed. Somehow our civilization has mismatched democratic freedoms with the right to corrupt. The poet John Milton wrote a very long poem, "Paradise Lost", on the subject and then we promptly industrialized moral concerns to fit the booming age of the machine.

Football, in contrast, is supposed to be a simple game. It certainly is plain compared to the American version. You take a round ball, put two teams on opposing sides of a field that defend respective goals until -- no hands allowed -- the round ball finds its way into the back of the net. No stopping and starting unless an egregious foul is committed.

Oh, and the football field is supposed to be level. Yes there are rules about starting play and "off side" and out of bounds, but just the same: how does a simple game -- wait, the world's most popular game -- get so corrupted at the apex of its society: FIFA?

Nightly News had it wrong, yesterday, when it described FIFA as "like the International Olympic Committee". The writers were attempting to link back to the IOC scandals of the pass. On the other hand, it is understandable that pundits are kicking around similes and metaphors, trying to find the right touch.

Here is the official Eye On Miami Explanation:

FIFA -- the world football governing body -- resembles the IOC the way that an elephant is like a camel.

The first thing to understand about FIFA is that its president, Sepp Blattner, has used the massive revenue from television rights and advertisement to corrupt through the ranks. FIFA is a corrupt nation unto itself, unaccountable to any national authority. Blather's power is a combination of the Pope and Vladimir Putin. (Just confirmed: this morning at a press conference Putin is criticizing the U.S. for poaching on FIFA's prerogatives.)

To understand how FIFA works, imagine the United Nations without the rule of law.

FIFA is like the House of Lannister in the Game of Thrones (HBO) if Sepp Blatner were young and virile and not a dottering old man who ought to be given the sack and a slap on the way out. Although Blattner's public approval rating among FIFA followers is likely below 1%, still he would command high speaking fees in Swiss retirement villages where the world's most corrupt leaders hide their wealth. "Sepp Blattner: This is how I did it."

EOM Memo to US DOJ and FBI: please don't call it "soccer".


Geniusofdespair said...

Soccer, I mean football, is the only other sport besides hockey I can say: YAWN.

Anonymous said...

Soccer/football/futbol or whatever you choose to call is not invasive species of sport. It is as American as apple pie and played by more young children in our country than football and baseball combined. It has taken years for the sport to advance to its current stage but if you still doubt its authenticity take a drive to Orlando any given weekend and watch the Orlando City club pack 37,000 at the Citrus Bowl (opening day drew 75,000). Someday soon Miami will have its own MLS team and will sell out every seat per game (something the Marlins and Dolphins fail to do routinely). By the way, remember that baseball field we used to play our games in back in the '70s? It has been converted to a soccer field. So for the naysayers, keep putting soccer down, in the meantime we will continue to enjoy the Break Sheas, Messis and Ronaldos of our world- your loss lol.

Anonymous said...

Soccer is about as much fun to watch as tennis or bowling or whatever else that chugs along.

Most Basketball games you don't even have to watch till the last 3 minutes. Really. Soccer is soccer and Football is football.

Anonymous said...

Most scandals have six degrees of separation from Miami Beach. This one won't disappoint.

Anonymous said...

David Beckham is getting advice from the FIFA crooks.