Saturday, January 24, 2015

Rui Hotel Montego Bay Sucks. By Geniusofdespair

I switched to 3 buildings --  all the rooms smelled moldy.  I wanted out but at 6pm not easy. Anyway I stayed. Let me assure you that non-smelly rooms is the most important thing on my list of vacation needs. The bathrooms were very nice. Spent a lot of time there. I spent almost $800 for 3 days there, with what seemed like 1,000 other people. Very relaxing, not so much.

I looked at reviews and was astounded by all the 4 and 5 stars given by people (must have been stoned). The staff were nice but the hotel needs major upgrades. I had an old fashioned TV and a bedspread. More like an old Day's Inn.  I asked for a CLEAN blanket and got a nice white clean blanket instead of the old blue one in the closet.  I tried with the air conditioning to control the room smell. Didn't work. I just froze with the thin blanket.

This hotel had meals. I liked the tea and the croissants. One night I ate all desserts. The jerk chicken was really good but none was available for dinner. That is about it on the food front. They did give you giant bottles of water free.

Most people were Canadians and from Europe. They were having a good old time drinking away the free booze. I don't drink nor smoke pot. I think that was my big problem. If I had I wouldn't have cared about anything else. I never saw quite so many drunk people. And pot was very easy to get. Guys literally put it in your hands.

The most famous attraction: The waterfalls -- too long a drive: 1 hour and 1/2.

Too many tourists. Too much unpleasant odor. If you want to walk on the beach you can't go far, as one accurate reviewer said:
Last time I'll do all inclusive. The beach is man-made. Unless you get "off the reservation" you don't even see real Jamaica. This isn't even Montego Bay. It's Mahee Bay (manmade with construction sand)
Length of beach...This hotel had to be built in the 50's with little renovation.

I wanted to windsurf but they had no harnesses and the uphaul line was without knots (so it doesn't slip down your hands when raising the sail) and a boom with no rubber. I would say the setup was about 20 years old.

They say they have free wifi. It is 90 minutes and only works in the lobby (and it is sporadic).  The  pool was nice, but I don't do pools.

Here is another Trip Advisor review from 2013:
We chose this hotel for a girls get-a-way; we were immediately disappointed by the low quality service, below average restaurants, and limited service throughout the hotel. The hotel room itself felt dated and had a "weird" smell to it. 
Best part of trip seeing an old friend and spending time together.


Anonymous said...

You should have visited the falls, they are a unique experience.

Geniusofdespair said...

I went to the falls that is in the blog. I said the trip was too long. I didn't really find it so great the whole thing cost $180 (travel there and entrance) Too many groups of screaming people in the water. The tour guides had them screaming.

Johnny Appleseed said...

Jamaica is probably the last place to go if you're trying to avoid tourists, drunk tourists, and cheap hotel rooms that cost a fortune. At least now you know.

Anonymous said...

Go to Kingston for a more authentic experience.

Also I figured you for a better traveler.

Geniusofdespair said...

I didn't make the reservation I usually just stay in better hotels. I have never stayed in a all inclusive hotel before.

Science Teacher said...

I assumed you smoked a lot of weed because of your views on climate change.

Geniusofdespair said...

Person I deleted twice: Do not attack the blogger means just that. I am not thin skinned... I am the King here. You are just a fucking asshole. My blog, my rules. Go read the Miami Herald editorial today, it is about you.

Anonymous said...

My hoodie on the plane stunk of the hotel room.
I left all my clothes in the laundry room smell.
It was the AC. I left mine on for 5 hrs & my room stunk when I got back.

Anonymous said...

go to the fla keys next time. you are lucky you didnt get robbed and raped