Monday, December 30, 2013

Readers Deliver Official 2014 Slogan For Miami-Dade County … by gimleteye

Eye On Miami is pleased to announce the winner/s (anonymous) for the Contest To Devise A New Slogan For Miami-Dade County.

The current slogan is "Delivering Excellence Every Day".

The winner of the best descriptive phrase for Miami-Dade County goes to … (drumroll) … "Miami-Dade County: so close to the United States".



Now, the proximity of Miami-Dade County to the United States should not be mistaken for a contiguous border, as might express by crossing a geopolitical boundary on an interstate highway. We are apart in subtle ways that challenge description.

We are not separate because we are lawless. Far from it. The many people charged with prosecuting or defending our laws are vigilant and aggressive. They crowd Brickell Avenue and downtown just so long as no sacred cows are in front of them, in which case the flocks of well-shod vanish into thin air.

More to the point, on the legal, moral and ethical spectrum Miami has invented and marches to shades of gray that don't exist anywhere in the lower 48.

Many of our commenters return to the descriptive theme of the banana republic, but we think the winner -- "so close to the United States" -- expresses at least in part a yearning to be restored, genetically perhaps, to ideals of democracy that never took root here beyond Miami's billboard culture. Runner-up: "Miami-Dade County: Get Your Kicks On 836". (We don't know what it means, we know what it means.)

Deciding the outcome for the new slogan contest for Miami-Dade County was challenging. We asked for readers to hew to the action embraced by the current slogan: "delivering excellence every day".

Since our winner is "descriptive", we decided on a second award for that slogan that best approaches an "action" describing the county.  We had to carefully "step over" numerous references to excrement along the way.

But before disclosing our winner, allow us to address a question posed by an anonymous responder: "Wow, you people need to move to a better place. What are you still doing here?" Say, what?

Speaking for many of our readers, we believe Miami could be a better place if elected officials went down the list of objections and complaints enumerated in our slogan competition and began to address them one by one.

Because our elected officials only rarely approach our problems seriously, we believe that our new slogan for Miami-Dade County should aim for the greatest possible accuracy in the complaint department.

No one believes that Miami-Dade County is "delivering excellence every day". If we were, why would the outstanding infrastructure deficits (not counting, do tell, the utter lack of respect for public spaces) total more than $10 billion? Why is County Hall a revolving door between the regulators and the regulated, a fraternity of land use lawyers, lobbyists and decision makers that make a mockery of ethics in government and operate in that off-the-visible-spectrum gray zone?

So here it is: our winner. We thank our readers and our contest participants one and all! Our best wishes for a cantankerous yet healthy and prosperous New Year.

The Winner

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now if only the county would agree to use it.

Anonymous said...

Sounds xenophobic to me.

Anonymous said...

Nice to see liberals showing their true colors.

Anonymous said...

Get real. Are you saying the county is all one ethnic group?

Anonymous said...

"No hablo Ingles!"

Anonymous said...

If in doubt, blame it on the Hispanics. Lovely.

Anonymous said...

Totally Xenophobic. When I first read it suggested I was embarrassed by it and thought the blog owners would remove it. Sadly, I was wrong.

Just for the record, I am 100% Anglo and having lived in other large metropolitan areas, am confident that greater Miami is one of the best areas in the US.

Anonymous said...

I believe is should be called ALL-IN-phobic, if not read today's Herald article...from Sweetwater, to Doral, to Opa-locka, to Miami Beach...police, ponzi schemes, Shapiro UM, and numerous Mayors...it must be in the Water!
D'oh sore subject to our BCC.

Anonymous said...

How is the slogan blaming things on Hispanics? You could say the exact thing about Sarah Palin? Hispanics and Anglos are just too politically correct to get the COUNTY humor. Ease up.

Barry said...

Serving ourselves everyday is zenophobic? I think not.

Anonymous said...

Apparently a majority voted for the "slogan" so if it sounds xenophobic then majority of Miami-Dade are xenophobes

Anonymous said...

There was no voting on this slogan. It was selected by Genius and Gimlet.

miaexile said...

and for the folks posting that the descriptive slogan is xenophobic, jeebus, yall need to get a life ( and a dictionary ). the incredible melting pot that is south florida is one of the main reasons we all stay and find so much of the rest of the Florida and the US bland and dull.

Anonymous said...

The slogan is most appropriate. Thank you for hosting the contest.

Anonymous said...

Why is the slogan "most appropriate"? Please explain to us who don't understand it.

Is it a geographical connotation as in "Portugal is so close to Spain"?

Is the implication that Miami-Dade, even though it is so close to the US is so superior to the rest of the country?

Is it that other areas in the US don't enjoy the wonderful climate Miami-Dade does?

Is it that Miami-Dade has far more cultural venues than the neighboring counties?

Is it that in Miami-Dade, unlike other areas of the US, one can enjoy less discrimination?

Is it that Miami-Dade County colleges and universities rank much higher than others throughout the rest of the US?

Is it that Miami-Dade sports teams are admired throughout the rest of the US?

Please do explain...

Anonymous said...

Perfect! I may steal these pic's when I post County issues to see if anyone notices. Of course, I'd use the standard - "not the official slogan of Miami Dade County - but should be."

Eye on Miami posters get an A plus for their contributions to the County. These were actually better then last years "where's Ana" contest.

Thank you for keeping it fun every once in a while. Those who followed our local politics in 2013 have now received a much needed break from the usual - why aren't all these people in jail or FBI FBI FBI!

Geniusofdespair said...

Anonymous is wrong I did not choose the winners but thanks for draining all the fun out of this parody.

Anonymous said...

I thought blogs were supposed to be edgy and ireverent what happened? You have too many mainstream press readers on your blog.

Anonymous said...

Get a grip, I just was having fun, being a Hispanic myself, but how about a late entry from me (So close to the United States Winner)I would recommend retracting my entry and supersede it with this one:

In the now famous words from our beloved 1997 Marlins MVP - Livan Hernandez..."I love you Miami"

Anonymous said...

You are correct some of us are not edgy. We are centrists, and no one nor any party speaks for us. The parties are either rabid left or rabid right. We are just basic work-a-day Americans struggling for rationality, common sense, and government that works and responds to our needs. There is no fair with some of us. Just plain basic Americans.

Anonymous said...

The new Mayor of New York was sworn in today, and wow, he is a breath of fresh air. We certainly need hope. I wish him well, and sincerely hopes he gets the talent around him to implement all these things he wants to do. We have learned the hard way that it is not enough to have good ideas, but you must have talent around you to make it happen. One thing for sure, the pipeline is being installed and New York is already set for a Clinton presidency. New York is so far ahead of everyone else. In the meantime, the struggle continues here. . .

Anonymous said...

Last anonymous espousing the New York theocracy, read this.

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2013/04/idea-of-the-week-inequality-and-new-yorks-subway.html

Lunatic fringe at work in Miami. Read and learn idiot.

Mr. Knickerbocker said...

NYC headed for a train wreck Dinkins2.0

Anonymous said...

No, New York is about money. And they are setting the stage to get a lot of their tax money back from the federal government. And President Clinton will make sure they get their money.