Monday, October 09, 2017

When Donald Trump Makes You Hate Family Members. By Geniusofdespair

This letter was in the Carolyn Hax column (shortened):
Dear Carolyn: My daughter (she is 30) and I have polar political views. I say political because that is how it manifests itself; however, to me it comes down to core values of compassion and empathy, or lack thereof. I do not proselytize, nor do I say anything to her — it is in her occasional opinions of this or that, and in random comments.

As a person separate from me, I respect her having her own opinions, but as her mother I am so saddened and, well, disappointed. She doesn’t rant vile propaganda (overt racism, etc.), yet her lack of even attempting to understand others’ circumstances and disadvantages is so disheartening, I have difficulty engaging with her.

Of course I don’t want to end our relationship, but when we engage, almost daily, it is so painful to recognize that she is not someone I would choose to have in my life if we were not related. I wonder where I went wrong.
And Carolyn replied in part:
A couple of things, starting with sympathy. Regardless of the reason, this — “it is so painful to recognize that she is not someone I would choose to have in my life if we were not related” — is a reckoning more people will identify with than not.

If you think about it, it makes sense that most parents and kids love each other but maybe don’t always like each other’s personalities. But this isn’t stuff we think — we feel it, and there’s a dull ache at best where the “like” ought to be.
I have mentioned the story of my young niece who asked me: "Aunt Nancy, Would you still love me if I were Republican?" I thought about what she said and I was lost for words. Would I?

I know that my Facebook Friends are abandoning me, and I them,  over what it means to be a President. I think, how can they condone a lunatic as president and they think he is a great leader dismissing all of his loathsome deeds. One friend said, when I posted a photo of me on one knee in front of a flag:
I am totally disgusted by this. My husband and many people I know have sacrificed so much for our country. I unfriend you as of this moment. Disrespecting our flag is not funny.
My answer was:
Okay you can unfriend me. But this is not about service men. It is my flag too. I have pledged to it for decades. No one has dibs on the flag. No one. NO ONE! I contend electing Donald Trump is a slap in our patriotic face. But then you are free to vote as you wish. If I find this whole issue, dreamed up to distract you, foolish and worthy of satire, that is my right.
One friend of mine posted:
I always thought bending the knee was a sign of respect. In this case I believe it is a way of a person to show respects for our country and at the same time begging our country to respect all of our citizens equally. This situation has certainly brought attention to the matter. Unfortunately some do not get it.

That is the answer to this all: Some do not get it.

Some do not understand that every morning I wake up with a fear and anxiety and wonder what will come next. I want stability not wackiness, I am too old to be gaslighted. This is what is on my mind when I wake up, History:

That neighbors and friends can be made into enemies, that children can become unrecognizable, that hate can be encouraged, by the power of one man.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Trump is a master of dividing people. It diverts attention away from the real issues he seems incapable of dealing with. People and the media fall into this trap over and over again. Wake up and demand our elected leaders do their jobs.

Anonymous said...

Many people including the President do not understand exactly what a democracy means. Whatever your positions or feelings, you must fight to the death for other people opposite to you to have an opportunity to express their position. Once either side cannot express their feelings, our democracy is in BIG trouble. The American flag represents this kind of government, called a democracy. On the other hand, the nazi flag represents a government which denys others a right to state their opinions. When you try to punish or somehow try to prevent others for making statements, you are not standing for the American flag.

Anonymous said...

as a feeling democrat, I understand this mother's reaction to her daughter and your reaction to your niece's question. I have friends and, yes, relatives who are republican. when we get together, we do not discuss politics. it is a very difficult topic NOT to talk about since we are bombarded with trump talk 24/7. I think of the country we are leaving to future generations and I am becoming more despondent by the minute; that is, if we still have a country to leave to them. therefore, I would always love my daughter....btw, my older daughter is not as much into politics as my younger daughter and me... so we just don't talk politics. this article is food for thought, though.

Anonymous said...

Trump has given these people power to take the hood off. We are headed for some turbulent times. I have some relatives and friends that share these beliefs with Trump. I avoid them as much as I can and don't talk about my beliefs with them to avoid an argument. Now I know how the south had brother fighting against brother in the civil war. History Does repeat itself.

Mariah said...

The problem is- they do get it but they can't leave there prejudices behind. It is open season to hate Blacks, Hispanics and Jews. Who will be next.

Anonymous said...

The U.S. has been at war - since 9/11. Troubles in the Mideast were brewing long before that. Of course, oil companies have significant "interests" in world oil regions - though the U.S. has never been particularly liked by Mideast people. Can't say Iraq, Libya, even Syria were an actual threat. Yet, once we invaded Afghanistan, this country kept on going. And we're now back threatening Iran - which could give rise to radical politicians in one of the few democratic Mideast countries.
I only mention this, as kids/teenagers, even young adults have been bombarded with images and talk of war since they were children. War ensures an "us" against "them" mentality. Kids grow up with the images of war on nightly news, as well as the debates about caring for the refugees our wars created.
On an economic note: Our war economy is one of the sure-fire paychecks for many men and women. And though enlisting carries significant risks, there aren't many good options for some young people. The world is changing, rapidly. So many threats, including, but not limited to climate change.
I decided not to have kids during the 60's, even as a 14 y/o. The world seemed too troubled, even back then: Ehrlich Fromm and population bomb, as well as nuclear annihilation, DDT, polluted rivers (an older friend liked to remember when the Miami River was clear), drugs and Vietnam, etc.
Still don't know how Trump got elected. Perhaps a Senate or Congressional leader will eventually emerge to steady the "ship". Perhaps. Very difficult to predict the future, though war is taking a big chuck out of our budget. This also has ramifications for many Americans.

Anonymous said...

For Bob Coker to speak out as he has, things there are really bad. He is one of the linchpins that holds this country together. Kelly, Pence and company, may have to pull the plug on Trump for the good of the country. Let's hope he does not wake up one morning and ask "What does this button do? Let's see."

Anonymous said...

Corker is right winger who has supported the tRump agenda
http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a12809544/bob-corker-trump/

Anonymous said...

I hate to say it but this is the type of thought pattern that put Donnie Trump in the WH - it was Pelosi, Warren, Hildabeast and Barry -i.e., the vast majority of Americans are for gay rights - but that doesn't mean we light up the WH in rainbow colors for the rest of the world to laugh at - tranny's became the badge of heroism - Barry was out making excuses for the US to countries that would be speaking German if not for the US - taking a knee, sitting on a bench, turning ur back, etc., at the flag is seen as disrespectful to something that is sacred to the majority of Americans - now throw in these are "oppressed miilionaires" - and in 3 years when the raging idiot gets re-elected everyone is going to be dumbfounded again