Friday, March 25, 2016

Business owners in Florida: Learn what you can do to save jobs while accepting your fate ... by gimleteye

Readers in Florida. Hi. Hello. Important news. "Florida is open for business today!"
Businesses impacted by the recent Lake Okeechobee discharges can now register for the Small Business Impact Workshop. Presentations will be made by the State of Florida Department of Economic Opportunity and the Florida Division of Emergency Management Recovery Bureau. There will be information provided as to potential assistance for businesses that have sustained losses due to the water releases. The workshop is Wednesday, March 30th from 8:30 to 11:00am at the Wolf High Technology Center at Indian River State College Chastain Campus in Stuart. The workshop is free to attend, but they are asking for anyone interested in attending to make a reservation. For more information or to reserve your spot, email info at stuart martin chamber dot org or call Jill Marasa at 772-221-1380.
At this workshop, small business owners will learn to distinguish between a dead dolphin and a live dolphin.

Dead dolphin. It is not moving.
Live dolphin. It moves.
Business owners who take a voluntary, multiple choice test on subject material will be given an American flag pin, a booklet signed by Agriculture Secretary Adam Putnam, Gov. Rick Scott, House Speaker Steve Crisafulli, and Representative Matt Caldwell describing how fish kills recently observed in a few small parts of the state are caused by radical extremists.  

Participants will learn to identify species of dead fish.

They will also learn to navigate useless websites maintained by the Florida Department of Environmental Protection that appear to offer transparency and current data and information but are only for show.

All participants will be given free one-year memberships to Associated Industries of Florida and a drink coupon good at a Chamber of Commerce luncheon anywhere in Florida. To benefit from this important offer, you must register today!


beulah buckrah said...

If i wasn't so bummed out by TWO SEPARATE DISASTERS OCCURING AT THE SAME TIME IN THE IRL AND BOTH SOUTH FLORIDA COASTS (uh huh... right... ;-)), i would have let out a chuckle at this post... OK, fine... I DID CHUCKLE just a little bit...

cyndi said...

oh hahaha i thought it was true. I posted this. I want people to go and then hold their feets to the fire if its a bunch of bs.I want them to stand up if they the gall to tell them to go tell our local incredible fishing guides and bait and tackle guys to go work at MCdonalds. Lets nip this right in the bud so there is no mistake about what they are offering.