Monday, September 21, 2015

Picture of the Week: The Wet Dream Mall Places Its First Ad. By Geniusofdespair



The Ghermezian clan's Triple 5 Group, placed its first ad for their American Dream Mall, it is full page and full color. Wow, the Miami Herald must be happy, they haven't even broken ground on the mall and they are giving them big bucks.  You have to realize that it (what I call the wet dream mall) is not going to be near any water except a rock pit. So they are going to decorate a rock pit and put a submarine in it. Sounds like Florida...pay to go dive in a reproduction of a reef (a rock pit made into an aquarium).

We do have REAL reefs Floridians where you can snorkel or get a glass bottom boat experience.  Get real Ohhh, Ahhh moments. We already have Orlando for fake experiences. Oh, I forgot. Everything has to be around the corner for  lazy Miamians.


6 comments:

Gimleteye said...

Hilarious. The coral reef depicted in the ad isn't any closer to being representative of the decimated Florida reefs than the Wizard of Oz. But wizardry sells and isn't that the whole point of Florida?

Anonymous said...

What bizarre business model suggests advertising for a mall that is probably five or six years from opening, if all goes well? This ad must be to influence the county officials who are responsible for permitting this monstrosity. Gimenez will be demanding more development waivers from Osterholdt to speed up the process so he can ride in a submarine? Something really strange is going on here.

Albert Friend said...

Aside from the fact that this whole project is insane, I was under the impression that those rock pits were fresh water.

Anonymous said...

The real American Dream is not a luxury entertainment and shopping center. The real American Dream is having plentiful and world-class parks and libraries, not having to pay $10-15 to take your family to the water's edge. The real American dream is having good paying jobs in town with beneifits. It's about zero tolerance for public corruption. About plentiful transit. About public officials that care about you, the resident, rather than what business they can subsidize with your taxes and your public land. The American Dream is being able to walk and bike and have your kids be safe. It's about your city loving you back. It's not about driving to some mall in the wetlands and going on some fake sub ride to see corals that your own government buried alive.

Anonymous said...

Wallet Hub just found Miami one of the worst cities in the US to raise kids. No wonder. Lack of real parks is one if the reasons, along with poor schools. I would add an underfunded public libraries. If pols cared about the people they served instead of appeasing every grifter and developer making campaign contributions, they would make it a priority to increase the quality of life for young families. This silly mall is just another BS spectacle for tourists subsidized by taxpayers. This never seems to stop. That's why whoever can get out, will. Brain drain, it's called. So sorry.

Anonymous said...

Silly rabbit. Those coral reefs in rock pits aren't real. They are colored rocks. Floriduh!