Tuesday, March 24, 2015

I personally don't care about Climate Change or Global Warming. By Geniusofdespair

If it doesn't happen to be true I, as a registered Republican, will be very happy. I will buy more Koch brother products like Vanity Fair Super Sized Napkins and vote to put in more  Blank Blank deniers. There are certain repercussions if Blank Blank is true (Rest of the planet, just so you know: In Florida we are NOT ALLOWED to use the words or we get fired or are forced to see a psychiatrist).

If Blank Blank is true:

1. It will thin out the Euro Trash on Miami Beach and the Hispanics pouring into our borders. That would be good for us. Just think, no more immigration issues to deal with.
2. Rubio won't win the presidential election. Bad for us.
3. Rick Scott won't become Senator. Bad for us. Love that Rick Scott.
4. Water World will be a prophecy movie instead of just a bad movie. Bad for us, Good for Hollywood.
5. All our grandchildren will be in deep shit, I mean water. Good and bad, do we really care about their future? Do we even like them? We shouldn't even be reproducing.
6. Flood Insurance? What is that? At least it will save us money when they do away with it, so that is good for us. We will have to dump our waterfront mansions, that is bad for us.
7. Ice caps melting. Photoshop.
8. Saltwater intrusion in our aquifer. Build a Desalination plant on Mount Trashmore.

While all you chicken-littles (Gimleteye being one of the biggest believers) worry about blank blank, I will be at the casino playing Texas Hold-em and smoking cigars with my Republican non-believer friends. I will have my wet suit ready just in case. You never know what those damn Democrats can do with hair dryers...like super-size them. They have super-sized their Beverages haven't they? That is why all Democrats are fat.

The true reason ice caps are melting, Democratic Plot: Unmanned Aerial Drones.


Anonymous said...

For the last time, you are not a Republican in your heart, only on paper.

Bitsy said...

You make a good Republican troll, you understand our logic.

Anonymous said...

Today's EOM is a great one! What insight, what humor! Miami Herald: are you listening? Why aren't you spending more time and space on these issues? Thanks to GOD and Gimleteye for great work!

Girly Girl said...

I own at least 4 hairdryers. I have them stashed in various places. I love to plug them in and feel the hot air blow in my face --- Of course, I am not contributing to Scott's Blanky Blank weather, however, the hot air I produce is nothing compared to what blows through the halls of government at all levels. One can get wind burn there!

Anonymous said...

You know it is just like EOM to bring a smile and laughter, just when I am down!

K. Murphy said...

And what about your guns - not exactly waterproof...

Geniusofdespair said...

When you cant fix it you might as well laugh at it. I am glad some people get my sense of humor.