Saturday, December 13, 2014

Let's build Miami's skyline to reflect whatever anyone wants, with one condition! … by gimleteye

There is a new (another) proposal for a ferris wheel on the Miami skyline at Biscayne Bay. Added to the Berkowitz Nail Clipper Building, already approved by the city and county? Why not! Here is a manifesto for Miami: let anyone build whatever they want. Anywhere.

This would be my symbol of the new manifesto: a giant trash bag with an animatronic hand sticking out and a finger that waves to the heavens. This image to me is as viable as the Nail Clipper Building or the Ferris Wheel because it is representative, it is massive, it makes a statement.

Seriously, I have one caveat or I withdraw my request.

The one condition would be attached to every scheme for public money that comes down Interstate 95. Require the developer to hold in escrow the full cash value of decommissioning their project and returning the land below to its natural state.

Hear me out. If you have enough votes to approve an idiotic project, fine enough. But then, when your project fails -- and let's identify "failure" as requiring any further infusion of public tax money -- or has to be decommissioned, then it is YOUR responsibility to make the taxpayer whole. You want ANOTHER ten dollars for your PAMM or Arsht? Then forfeit all the money in escrow.

Why? Because the real priority is the PUBLIC priority for quality of life. Once your build your dream with the backing of elected officials, then there is no "free get-out-of-jail" card when you want MORE of our money.

Let me put it another way: if you are so confident of your development's success, Mr. Ferris Wheel Man or Mr. Nail Clipper Developer, then YOU put in escrow the full cost of taking it down and replanting sod and/or palm trees.

Why is it so hard to convince our city and county commissioners that turning the waterfront into private development schemes to attract tourists is the worst idea Miami ever had? Or, why should it be THEIR free-for-all? Why not MINE?

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do a quick google search "ferris wheel bankrupt".

Singapore is about to sling out its wheel - the Flyer, also surrounded by tall buildings, is going bankrupt. Melbourne's Southern Star shut down 40 days after it opened.

Geniusofdespair said...

How are the tall ships going to get in the slip? Why did we build bollards with Find grants to hold the ships? This is a stupid idea. However the photo you supplied with the plastic bag and the finger, great idea for the waterfront! Let's push that one. So unique people could slide down the bag into the water.

Anonymous said...

Hugly as balls. Please tell me it's not true. Cheapings our skyline. Looks like a fucking fair.

Anonymous said...

This massive structure would be anchored into Biscayne Bay bottom- still a state designated aquatic preserve. Just like Beckham wouldn't have gotten environmental permits to fill on the slip, this $300 million proposal would never get approved. Hopefully.

Anonymous said...

Read the fine print: in addition to the ridiculous Ferris wheel there is an attached retail center along the waterfront. Another Bayside! Please! Why can't he public just enjoy our beautiful green waterfront park without tarting it up with crap and commercialism? These proposals only serve to enrich another opportunistic schemer and the compliant and crass public officials.

Anonymous said...

The Miami Art Museum now stupidly renamed the Perez Art Museum Miami has almost NO endowment. The "board" was supposed to raise $120 Mil or more. Instead PAMM loses $15 Mil per year, maybe more. The interest on the bond payments is huge and all the various taxpayer payments add up. Miami Science is even WORSE.

Anonymous said...

Have you seen the Science Museum? It is being built and it is one butt ugly building blocking the much more
attractive PAM bam thank you mam.

Anonymous said...

wrong finger.

Anonymous said...

The new park and visiting tall ship facility should not be subjected to every harebrained scheme that reduce the public access to parks and the waterfront.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else see something oddly sexual about these together? Or do I just have that kind of mind. Oy Vay!!

Anonymous said...

Every highrise building must be required to build a sculpture of the face of the most corrupt politician on top floors, a Mount Rushmore of our own and a billion dollars tourist draw. Every election voters to choose whose face goes up.

Anonymous said...

Freak structures with ground floor retail. How broke is this the county and city? Is tourism declining? If every city builds a freak tourist attraction what then?

HectorinMiami said...

Full escrow amount?! That's such a inconvenience that the idea becomes ammunition for the politicians to shoot down any possible reform before it starts...

Just do what other cities do... require a surety bond that covers the cost of clean-up.

Now most cities don't even bother pre-determining the cost of clean up. Instead they just say a surety bond worth 10% of the project.

That is something the banks would be interested in getting involved with, too.

Anonymous said...

I'll donate my private art collection to the city and the taxpayers can spend money on an observation tower-Ferris wheel with art gallery. Taxpayers can pay the yearly fees to run my air conditioned art gallery storage space, pay my insurance and provide security for my private art collection.

geri said...

This is such an incredibly stupid idea that even the most naive have got to recognize the that the city and county commissioners have no common sense or vision for the area other than "repaying" their contributors.

Geniusofdespair said...

Love love love this post Alan.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone thought maybe this is an "art imitating life" message by developer?

I mean a huge phallic object got passed under our noses, why not go for the orifice to seal the deal.

Miami's new message; Home for the screwing!

Or a new spin on the old what side of the railroad tracks did you grow up on. Now its what side of town did you grow up on? The screwing or the screwed?

Well played Berkowitz! Well played!

Anonymous said...

Surety bond my ass. The Skyrise project is an instant boondoggle. Workout casino gambling it'll become a tower of red ink the minute it opens. They need a larger visitor share than the Eiffel Tower just to break even!

That's why I started @SkyLiesMiami on twitter.

Clearly, Jeff Berkowitz started @skyrisemiami because he's compensating for something. ...