|Lynda Bell, Prime Sponsor|
|RESOLUTION AUTHORIZING THE MAYOR OR MAYOR’S DESIGNEE TO ORDER THE COUNTY ATTORNEY TO DRAFT LEGISLATION TO BAN THE SALE OF FIBER IN MIAMI DADE COUNTY.|
It was a
Her husband Mark, for an added treat, mixed Lynda's fiber with carrot juice. Lynda Bell was alarmed because the carrot juice made the fiber clump up. She tried to drink it but it was vile. She mixed it furiously with a spoon but it clumped more and got thicker. Never one to shy against self-serving legislation, Lynda Bell gave the carrot juice and fiber a lot of thought as she, in her usual manner, wanted revenge against them. If she banned carrot juice a lot people in her district would be mad at her, especially the farmers, but who could get mad at banning fiber, it is so gritty and unlikable. She decided her target would be the fiber and not the carrot juice. She came out fighting.
She brought her resolution against fiber to committee but couldn't get a second. Pepe Diaz, another self serving politician, said he needed the fiber to keep his weight down as his colon was operating at half speed and he admitted he was plugged up big-time, he suggested Lynda just drink her fiber with water. (Note to readers: don't stand downwind of Pepe). Lynda Bell could not garner a second on her resolution no matter how she pleaded. She was angry at Pepe and put him in her mental pocket of people to get back at (big pocket).
Lynda Bell was not defeated by any means, she then scheduled a trip to Tallahassee to do an end run around the County Commission. She heard that Rep. Erik Fresen also has a hate for fiber and carrot juice and Bell has decided to work through him because he is another self-serving politician. Meanwhile, Mark Bell has stopped serving carrot juice and can be found cowering in the corner of the Whistlestop when Lynda stops in for breakfast. It is rumored that Lynda has resorted to bran flakes with prunes for now and is off the pink slime additive in her meat (she was the only commissioner to vote for it to be served) until after the election August 26th.
(Lynda has done most of the maneuvers described in this fable, except it wasn't fiber that took the hit).