Saturday, March 22, 2014

The Lobbyist Line. By Geniusofdespair

Candidate Daniella Levine Cava should give some thought to a telephone line devoted to the calls of lobbyists when she wins the district 8 election.

I would be willing to man that line Daniella. I think I would know how to handle those pesky critters. I just couldn't wait for my first conversation with Stanley Price or Jeffrey Bercow. Such fun. For example, I could keep them on the phone for hours while I am at the gym and just pay someone to say uh huh ever 30 seconds.  And every couple of minutes my hire could say, "I don't understand can you explain that again."

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh wow, can we flip a coin over who gets to answer a call from Jose Luis Castillo when he tries to make nice?

Geniusofdespair said...

I want this job so bad I would pay to do it. Maybe this is a way to collect funds for libraries.

Anonymous said...

It probably could just be automated
"Hi this the the District 8 special interest lobbyist's line, please have your credit card ready"
press 1 to donated directly to the commissioner's reelection campaign
press 2 to buy tickets to a gala in her honor.
press 3 to donate anonymously to her charity

a reminder all calls are recorded for quality and training purposes, then ignored and discarded.
Thank you for calling.

Geniusofdespair said...

But I wouldn't have any fun.

Anonymous said...

You would "staff" the line. - not "man" the line. As a Daniella's supporter I urge you to stop using such sexist language.

Rootman said...

I object to the word "staff" which etymologically derives from the phallic stick used to signify power.

Geniusofdespair said...

Oh my God anonymous, You can't even have fun. This is just ridiculous, Daniella wouldn't care it is just a joke. Stop with the ultra sensitive crap. Not here. Do it somewhere else. Daniella is a good sport -- don't make her out to be a stickler for what I have never known her to worry about. She is a big picture person.

Anonymous said...

Press #1 to contribute to my private organization, the Sarnoff Foundation.

Anonymous said...

No automatic answering! It wouldn't run up the lobbyist bill enough to the client. Keep them on the line talking with the meter ticking!

Cato II said...

Before you start dreaming about how she's going to redecorate the office, you have to do the hard work of getting her elected.

Anonymous said...

Great writing. I love it. It really is time to expose these thieves

Anonymous said...

You actually think the high powered lobbyists call the Commissioners? How quaint. Haven't you been to the SPCC? They just walk right in to the BCC offices and a BCC staffer comes right out to usher them in. Or they walk into the Commissioner's field office anytime they want to speak about an issue. Same for the Mayor's office.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Daniella's won't run like that, maybe they will have to make an appointment on the lobbyist line! They aren't giving to her campaign.