Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Miami Dade County Commission: for a run of bad luck in the Magic City, the answer is only a nipple away... by gimleteye

The reputations of the Miami-Dade County Commission and County Mayor have been bouncing along bottom through disclosure that hundreds of vehicles have been kept in storage since 2006, depreciating amidst budget crises and other not-so-trivial pursuits. The cars gathering dust have made national news.

What local elected county commissioners need is a good diversionary tactic. What is left? They can't build a new airport terminal. Did that. A few billion over budget. A new port and tunnel: doing that. A new arts center. Done that and only a few hundred million over budget. A new sports stadium. Did TWO of that. But good golly, how to distract voters from the gross mishandling of public treasure. Wait, Eyeonmiami has an idea.

"Magic City" TV show struggled to find real breasts in Miami casting.

That's right (or at least a great PR ploy). The hit marginal channel TV show on Starz, "Magic City", nearly halted production because it could not find natural breasted women. Like "Mad Men", the TV producers wanted to be faithful to the era before silicon gel packs. So here is an issue for local politicians to grasp onto: the over-dependence of Miami on fake boobs.

Yesterday, the commissioners instead took up the issue of pit bulls. An Eyeonmiami poll conducted (wink, wink) with The Miami Herald shows more breasts that have been augmented in Miami than pit bulls. Of fit women who were born in Miami, 80 percent have had breast augmentation. Of canines in Miami, only 3 percent are pit bulls. Of the hundreds of cars stored in Miami-Dade garages that have never been used, less than 15 percent are hybrids. Of TV shows that film in Miami, 100 percent require natural breasts.

We suggest an avenue of inquiry for beleaguered commissioners: why are there so few natural breasts left in Miami. When a major revenue source for the county, TV production, could be shut down it is time for intervention. The county commission can see this issue (too many breast implants in Miami) properly lifted up and out to generate popular enthusiasm for a sagging institution.

More County Commission News: The lopsided Committee to study the (UDB) Urban Development Boundary (that environmental groups boycotted) was killed in a 4 to 4 vote. Moss, Bell Sosa and Souto voted against it. Joe Martinez, Barreiro, Bovo, and Diaz voted “Yes”.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This post was uplifting! I feel like a BOOB after reading it and I am right now going to eat a chicken breast.

Anonymous said...

Psst, casting directors: central Florida trailer parks. all natural...

Anonymous said...

Dade and Broward county hasn't any corn fed lassies to compete for any natural Bosom Contest. Casting directors working the Magic City might do to go on "Craigs List" and advertize.

Riley