Saturday, May 21, 2011

Hello, from the Rapture ... by gimleteye

Hi Everyone, I will be reporting first-hand on the end of the world, that occurred early this morning. I know it is the Rapture, because it is a gorgeous morning and in this five star Rapture hotel there is no sugar in the restaurant. It is banned from the Rapture. Biggest surprise? No churches, synagogues, or mosques! From here, I can see the Everglades are restored and there are no algae blooms in Florida Bay. Elections are clean and the corrupt are all in hell and purgatory. Business is a minor profession, far below teaching and education. Business groups have no influence in the Rapture. Lawyers only serve the poor and less fortunate. Everyone is taken at their word. Government works and the buses and trains run on time. I'll be reporting frequently from here, from now on. I've been looking for radical Republicans to interview, but so far have found none.


Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

You have actually identified what a post-rapture earth will be like. A world leader will step on the scene and revitalize the world economy & FINALLY bring "peace" to the Palestinian & Israel conflict.

The only problem is that the guy turns into the anti-Christ and there is 7 years of tribulation before the return of Jesus Christ to judge the earth.

Having clarified the actual events and given that the rapture did not happen, let's work together to stop Obama's illegal war in Libya.

Jeff Wilson said...

Heaven on earth.

Anonymous said...

Gimlet, weren't you asking for a radical Republican to interview? How about the one above Jeff Wilson? He sounds like the kind you're looking for! LOL

Anonymous said...

If reading the Good Book (Scripture) serves us right, we shall find that Adam was never awakened from the dream ---so that means we are still in it...

And who ever heard of a talking the devil saying there is the rapture...


Anonymous said...

hey the story of Cainne and Abel, ...when one brother killed the other, where did he run to, and actually found a woman to procreate with? There were no other human beings on Earth ... where did this woman come from? ..just a curious mind asking.

Anonymous said...

Anon--(a curious mind asking)

I'm so glad you asked that question: what you ask has been asked for centuries but never revealed unti the the late eight-
teen hundreds. The fallacy lies in the clergy not accepting and preaching the Spiritual creation
in the first chapter of Genesis.
From the fourth verse of chapter two to chapter five the creator is called Jehovah, or the Lord.

The first record-Ch 1 assigns all might & government to God, & endows man out of God's perfect-
ion & power. The second record
chronicles man as mutable & mortal (created out of dust),--as having
broken amay from Deity & revolving in an orbit of his own.

In this erroneous theory, matter takes the place of Spirit.

And so we mortals continue to be
spoken to by the lying serpent.

"Cease ye from man whose breath is in his nostrils"

curious mind #2 said...

This explains where the woman came from??