Thursday, December 19, 2013

Favorite Reader New Slogans For Miami Dade County, so far! … by gimleteye

Just one week left before Eye On Miami announces our new proposed slogan for Miami-Dade County. Right now, the current slogan is stamped on your tax bills and official communications: "Delivering Excellence Every Day". That is clearly untrue, so we have undertaken a civic contest for a slogan that accurately represents Miami-Dade County.

Our contest has generated nearly 150 reader responses and suggestions, making this post a contender for most popular post of 2013. Last year, our most popular post related to reader suggestions where to find Ana Sol Alliegro. Ana is the GOP political insider closely tied to disgraced former Congressman David Rivera and, through Rivera, to US Senator Marco Rubio. Eye On Miami readers were asked to venture on the whereabouts of Alliegro, who was on the lam from elections and law enforcement investigators and briefly surfaced in 2013. She presumably did not give federal investigators everything they wanted and so she disappeared again!

Thinking about your excellent work in helping design a new slogan for Miami-Dade, we arrived at the following conclusion. We will be offering two awards, not just one.

Follow our logic.

The current Miami-Dade County slogan begins with an action verb: "delivering". As in, "delivering excellence every day". As you can see from the brief list of examples below, only one offers a verb, "serving ourselves every day". It is likely Miami-Dade County would reject our selection of a winner, because we have not offered an action verb.

So in order to be sure that our contest is not dismissed for a grammar technicality, we would ask our readers to spend the next week focusing on the verb in your invention. "Delivering" is an action. An action is construed through a verb. "Excreting" is an action many of you have noted in your suggestions.

Here are a few more samples of your "action" slogans:

"Fucking taxpayers without a condom"

"Bring us your stadium deals"

That said, it is necessary for a second award, because we simply cannot deny so many inventive recommendations for a descriptive slogan. Readers have outdone themselves in this department.

What do we mean by "descriptive" slogan? Think adjective, not verb, as in: Miami-Dade County: "so close to the United States".

How do you know we are not in the United States, but "close to"? Well, for one, of the top ten movies for 2013 as proposed by the New York Times, only one is currently playing at art houses in Miami.

Some of your descriptive slogans:

"Where ethics and public trust don't matter"

"The NEW Atlantis"

So to summarize, Eye On Miami will offer TWO awards for a new slogan for Miami-Dade County: one, based on an action verb. And the second, descriptive, because Miami defies description except in the eyes of our readers.

There is still time to add your own invention. And don't forget to vote in the green box to the right, for our first annual "Sand In Your Eyes Award"! (County Commissioner Lynda "Don't Fence Me In" Bell is pulling away from the pack … ) Some contenders to guide your thinking …

Miami Dade County:

So Close To The United States (descriptive)

Serving Ourselves Every Day (action verb)

For A Few Bucks, We'll Name A Street After You (descriptive)

Birthplace of the Whopper (descriptive)

Do You Know Ana? (confusing if you don't!)

57 comments:

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade County: The "New" Atlantis

Anonymous said...

"So close to the United States"

Geniusofdespair said...

I do like "So Close to the United States", please include it Gimleteye

Al Crespo said...

Where ethics and public trust don't matter/

Anonymous said...

Whete incompetence and ignorance rule!

Anonymous said...

Love the so close to the United States one.

Anonymous said...

Even though mine made it that list, I think "Serving Ourselves Every Day" is the best because it is just the right amount of parody and disheartening truth.

Anonymous said...

One of mine made the final list but I do like "Serving Ourselves Every Day" or just "Serving Ourselves Daily" to simplify. I also like "So Close to the United States".

This is going to be a tough one.

Anonymous said...

What happened to all those good slogans about Miami-Dade having overpaid employees?

Anonymous said...

"BBB"
"Beyond Belief Bizarre"
Miami Dade County District 7 Xavier Suuarez
http://www.communitynewspapers.com/?p=75248

Anonymous said...

SUAREZ COUNTY All in the family widespread fraud of absentee ballots

Anonymous said...

Bring us your stadium deals

Anonymous said...

miami si, Castro no!

Anonymous said...

The U. S. Constitution? What is that?

Gimleteye said...

LOL.

Anonymous said...

Get your kicks on 836.

Anonymous said...

Get your kicks on 836.

Anonymous said...

We are our bananas.

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade County: Evading Accountability One Day At A Time

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade County "Fraud We Love It!"

Anonymous said...

MDC "In 3Ps We believe"

Anonymous said...

American Airlines County merger coming soon

Anonymous said...

When a winner is finally crowned, I'm going to design the "new logo" and send it to you, though I'm sure you are planning to do that same :)

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade County
Delivering absentee Ballots daily

Anonymous said...

Miami-Dade County
where truth is stranger than fiction

Anonymous said...

Rules Made Up As We Go Along

Anonymous said...

"Miami-Dade County - Home of the Best Paid Public Sector Employees in the US"

Miami-Dade County - Most overpaid County workers in the country"

Anonymous said...

Fleecing taxpayers one Bell at a time!

Anonymous said...

Ana? If you knew the County, you would know the line actually is: "Do you know Alina?"

That's because if you want one of those no-compete $200k jobs at the County, you must kiss Alina Hudak's ring and say kind words to her about that loser George Burgess.

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade: Bend over it's gratis!

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade- Fucking taxpayers without a condom

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade--- " Welcome to Fantasy Island"

Anonymous said...

Delivering excrements every day,

Anonymous said...

What Sea Level?

Anonymous said...


"Another Day, Another Illegal Billboard"

Anonymous said...

"Delivering Corruption Everyday"

Anonymous said...

Where misplaced optimism fosters injustice.

Anonymous said...

Miami-Dade County: Enter at your own peril

Anonymous said...

"So Close to the United States" is my first shot to the slogan, but here goes my second suggestion...
"A thing of Beauty, a joy for Ever"

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade County "Lowering the minimum standard of ethical conduct and behavior for elected officials, public employees, members of county and municipal advisory boards and quasi-judicial bodies Everyday!"

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade- "smile your on candid camera"

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade County: you talking to me?

Cato II said...

"What's Ours is Ours, And What Yours is Ours."

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade County: Testing your blood pressure every day

Al Crespo said...

Screwing you 24/7.

Anonymous said...

Where nothing exceeds like excess.

Anonymous said...

Adaptable as a cutout board of Fidel Castro

Anonymous said...

Misappropriating your money and your trust.

Anonymous said...

It's something in the air

Anonymous said...

We speak Spanglish here.

Anonymous said...

I don't need no stinkin' action verb. Everyone forgot about Ana ... Miami dade county in U.S.A. Almost.

Geniusofdespair said...

Miami Dade County Delivering:

Deceit
Misappropriation
Bad Goverance
Disappointment
(Take your pick)

Every Day!

Anonymous said...

Scheming & Scamming every day

Anonymous said...

I,like the comdom one. Well said.

Anonymous said...

Miami Dade- " thank you sir may I have another"

Anonymous said...

Home of the laziest and highest paid government union employees in the world!

Anonymous said...

"Crapping in our own nest...Every Day!"