Last year, Akin, vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan (R-Wis.), and most of the House GOP co-sponsored a bill that would have narrowed the already-narrow exceptions to the laws banning federal funding for abortion—from all cases of rape to cases of “forcible rape.” Aiken, in his interview, said that in cases of "legitimate rape" the woman's body prevents her from getting pregnant.
I wondered about this and called my Republican friend, Jerry Orlosky, who works for a foundation that supports men who have gone blind from masturbation.
Me: Paul, a question. We are all troubled by the comments of GOP Senate candidate Todd Aiken. Eye on Miami readers want to know, how could Aiken have made such a boner?
JO: Liberals weren't going to cut us a break. The truth is that Aiken had cue cards he was supposed to read but didn't.
Me: Because he is going blind?
JO: You guys in the liberal media. But yes, Representative Aiken is visually challenged.
Me: OK. Help me understand. What is the difference between legitimate and illegitimate rape?
JO: As you know, women give off a scent. They can't control it and most can't even smell it. When a woman is modest and godly, and then she is raped, that is called "legitimate rape".
Me: Explain?
JO: When she goes out and about, that is called "illegitimate rape". It is not "real" rape.
Me: Wait. So, with legitimate rape she will not get pregnant?
JO: A woman has powers of men that are miraculous and have to be protected.
Me: So if a godly woman is raped, what should we do?
JO: Nothing. That's what the senator was trying to explain. Her powers are such that another kind of chemical is emitted that destroys the sperm of the man.
Me: And if the rape is illegitimate?
JO: A woman who has not taken her responsibilities to heart. A woman who may be in need of counseling.
Me: Well, thank you for those explanations.
JO: You're welcome. If you want you can post a link to our website on your blog.
Me: The one to cure men of blindness from masturbation -- how is it going?
JO: We are curing men of blindness every day, and part of their training involves caring for other men with similar conditions through prayer and charity. We are taking the lead in the private sector, providing a service the gub'ment should never get involved with. We are even expanding to help women who go blind for legitimate reasons.
Me: Is that a growing market?
JO: We have a lot of stiff competition but the free market always has opportunities if you work hard and apply yourself.
13 comments:
LMAO.
Genius, I don't know what LMAO means, but as a Black Republican I am shocked by the remark coming from the mouth of Todd Akin just as I was shocked at the racist remark coming from the mouth of Joe Biden, the sitting Vice President.
Simply put these two remarks coming from the mouths of an elected official and a candidate for the Senate is the result of the meanness and ugliness that has taken over our elective process.
We go all over the world bragging about our “perfect” election process, a process which has become nothing more than gutter competition, making us the laughing stock of the world.
Simply put it is not only a disgrace, but an insult to those voters who go to the polls at election time, armed with thier vote to elect people of conscience and integrity only to find them behaving in this dishonorable fashion.
It discredits, degrades and tarnishes our country to a level of humiliation as I have never felt before.
We need to clean it up…we need to do something…but what and how? To continue on this path is the first step in condemning us to second-class country status, clearly not the stuff that makes us the leader of the free world.
For shame!
Actually, LMAO means laugh my ass off. I was amused by:
"I wondered about this and called my Republican friend, Jerry Orlosky, who works for a foundation that supports men who have gone blind from masturbation."
Actually I didn't see the chain comment the same way, although my Jewish ancestors were also in chains. I thought of prison chain gangs and a metaphor for loss of freedom.
There is something wrong with being a Black Republican. Your reasoning about Biden confirms it.
Samuel, I find you to be an idiot of no mean order, saying a Black person should not be a Republican.
Who gives you the right to determine anything about Blacks? I don't need you or anyone else to give me advice on what party I should belong to. The problem with you is that you live in a bubble unchallenged and indoctrinated by people that know little or nothing about politics and either the Democrat or Republican party. You only go by what you have heard from people like you which tells me you are a first class idiot who cannot think for yourself. You don’t know how to think for yourself, you have to depend on others to think of you.
What you don’t know about me is that I was a Democrat, a BIG Democrat and left the Party for reasons you would never understand. I will, however, give you hint, idiots like you was a part of it.
Finally, I have no problem with those voters who chose to be Democrats. Those that I know well would be disgusted with someone like you as we Republicans are disgusted with people in our party like you. I have many friends and family who are Democrats. Our political discussions are healthy especially when we discuss our differences which become heated at times. But we both respect the others' reasoning although we do not agree with it and remain friendly.
I am very happy being a Republican.
You know as a woman, " I am sick and tired of being sick and tired " of my body parts being a part of public discourse, of continually being discussed in one way or the other during this campaign, of being legislated upon, and being examined by all these strange men. This time it comes through the crime of rape. Each time the discussion begins, using whatever angle is available at the time, I feel like I am being violated and am some kind of second class citizen.
The Rape Treatment Center at Jackson Memorial Hospital, is now part of an RFP to privatize ER Services. People should let the Financial Recovery Board know that the Rape Treatment Center will not ever be a profit-center. After it is privatized, it will then be closed for losing money. While the Congressman from Kansas has our attention for his foolish statements about rape, the only center that treats victims of rape in Miami is about to get shut down. FRB meets Monday, August 27th at 3:00 PM in the County Commission Chambers. They need to know if you think this is a good idea.
Why did you never express outrage about Whoopie Goldberg's "It wasn't rape rape" defense of child rapist Roman Polanski?
As far as I know she is still on The View. It's not too late for you to call for her resignation.
The bids are due on September 10, 2012 for private operators to take over the ER and Rape Treatment Center at Jackson. The expected award date to privatize these services is October 1, 2012. This is for real.
RFP 12-10496 CS ER Servics
Whoopie is running for office?
Do you know the difference between a celebrity and a public official? We hold our officials to a higher standard I would hope.
"Legitimate" rape??
If the Republicans win, the rich will abort Medicare and Social Security,
as they rape this COUNTRY...."legitimately".
Lyin' Ryan and More-mon-ey Romney are the Conservative Caviar Candidates.
They're the DREAM team for the super-rich - they want it ALL!
But they're the NIGHTMARE team for seniors, the middle-class , women’s rights, students receiving Pell grants, and the rest of us who are struggling .... while the big corporations send jobs and profits overseas, and the super-rich like Romney avoid paying their fair share.
Romney-Ryan can fool some of the people some of the time.
But no more - we’re ON to you guys!
What the honest folks know is that you have to figure out how to collect a little more (flatter, broader tax in an environment of more jobs growth) and expect government to provide a little less. Those cuts should not be across the board, but done in a thoughtful and surgical way.
Right now we have the absence of antri-trust and we incentivize companies to invest abroad, keeping the money off shore. I am not sure how best to approach this. There are good debates all around on this one.
What amount of tax or health care reform will make up for $.50/hour 12 year old girls who will work 10 hour days? Have we outlived the era of supply side economics? Is it that we are trading with protectionists in the absence of protecting ourselves?
We want to be the place where people wish to invest. We want our currency to be the safest. We don't want people dumping our currency. We don't want just the Fed buying our bonds. These are more important, but people don't understand them so we focus on the other.
All things to consider. Simplify the tax code and take off my concrete shoes. I promise, I will spend more. Its the best kind of economic stimulus there is.
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