Having a child with the household staff ... by gimleteye

I can empathize with the former governor of California. There are so many staff around the house. I wonder sometimes, do they all work for me? You come home after work herding sheep (the legislature), your wife is out at a "charity event", and the kids are all tucked into bed, soundly asleep. They smell of lavender and the sea. You wonder, who is responsible for bathing my children and putting them all to bed? In a world filled with incompetence, someone is getting something done. Then you turn a corner in a hallway-- a hallway you didn't even know you had (it is the one that slipped through after you fired your first architect)-- and there in a small room with a fireplace is a wet nurse suckling your youngest child. What's his name? You ask the man who delivers firewood to all the fireplaces. Her name is Maria. Maria? The name is familiar. All day the name haunts you. It is the name of your wife! Until one night at two in the morning you turn that corner, pacing in the hallway you could never find, and that woman, Maria, is still suckling your youngest child who's name is, it comes to you, Timmy. How many of my children have you suckled, you ask her. Twelve, sir, she responds. Does that include the children of the parking attendants? Yes, sir, she says lowering her eyes. And what are your other responsibilities? I bathe and put the children to sleep, sir. In a way, then, I work for you. Yes, sir. You should have a child of your own, then, from me. I don't mind, sir. The rest, as they say, is history.