Bring on the Crusades: then come vacation in Florida! ... by gimleteye

Dear World,

There will not be a piling up and burning of Qu'rans by the Mo'ron this Saturday. I deplored the plan by Florida's Pastor Jones to burn the Qu'ran, before he relented and became a statesman, jetting off to NYC to solve the mosque crisis, the Mideast crisis, to see Times Square, but not yet deal with the Crisis of Men with Unfortunate Moustaches. Please understand: Florida leads the nation in fickle idiocy. We are the stupid proud state that grabbed land speculation as a birthright and rode it to the moon, then drove that sucker down, hooting and hollering all the way into the deepest hole since the Great Depression. And we still think everything's gonna come back rosy as a new bride, though truth be told the one standing now in the low light is listless as a sixty five year old whore.

So it is Florida again, where our own Mo'ron and his twenty five foll'ers commandeered the news cycle. What next, a silvery UFO with a kid trapped inside? Free the boy! Kill the aliens! The state that delivered two terms of one Bush as president and another as governor, is dealing to relocate the mosque in New York to central Florida. That's right. The World Trade Center Mosque is moving to a trailer park in Florida. Then the World Trade Center will be built next door. Who is Pastor Jones? Finally someone to negotiate with hisself. He told me three times. While mobs burn the American flag, raise a glass in toast: in Florida we finally found someone to unite the world's village idiots.

Florida is America's Waziristan filled with bit actors who keeping pushing off their marks to stage center. We cannot be directed. The Republican operative enlisting homeless and street people to run as Green Party candidates to siphon votes from Democrats: that guy must have been flipping condos in downtown Miami in 2005.

Burn Gideon Bibles, burn Torahs, burn the Qu'ran in one big pile. Burn them with all the property titles and deeds in Florida. Burn every constitution of all the member nations in the UN right in the same pile with the Pastor's Qu'ran. Open up the zoos. If we burn them all, let all the animals out of their cages, nobody can be angrier than anyone else. In this state of agitation and blood lust, we can then git around to the work of building God's creation.