Officer, I can 'splain it all for you ... by vodkagimleteye

Bloggers live for moments like this, the ridiculous shining through the sublime. Off-isher, lemme 'splain what I mean...

Florida Keys man got stuck in the sand he was stealing, cops say
BY CAMMY CLARK
CCLARK@MIAMIHERALD.COM
A Marathon man didn't get far after loading his truck with sand from a public beach. His truck got stuck in the sand, according to the Monroe County Sheriff's Office. Brian Splain, 46, loaded up his 1989 Ford F-150 with sand from Coco Plum Beach Sunday in Marathon and was trying to turn around to leave when his truck got too close to the water and the wheels sank into the sand.

Three sheriff's deputies responded to calls from people who saw the stuck truck. The deputies talked to Splain, who appeared to be impaired. Splain failed field sobriety exercises, the report said. Deputies found the truck next to a large hole in the beach. Splain told the deputies he needed the sand for a job he was doing. Splain was charged with grand theft of the sand, criminal mischief and driving while impaired. He was booked into the Monroe County jail.