Monday News Brief: With months of light afternoon showers, Florida's drought is over. Joblessness hit an historic low. Hotel room occupancy is at an all time high. All forms of sea life are on the rise. Every seat at every sporting event is filled with happy, paying customers. There are no waiting lists. Everyone is getting a good night's sleep. The streetlight removal program is complete. The new politeness has taken hold. The other day a worker spent ten minutes commuting to work. The melting Greenland Ice Sheet is no longer melting. Holes drilled in Chinese drywall filled with lit cigarettes eliminate toxic residue, mold, and other illnesses. The tax holiday is permanent and will be extended. Earthquakes will announce themselves for the foreseeable future.
5 comments:
And apparently, narcotics have made their way into the water supply. ;-)
What, pray tell, brought on this bout of delusional optimism?
Or have I missed the sarcasm of a spat of showers ending S. Florida's ongoing water issues...
But where's the good news on the "developers reigned in" front??? Thanks for the Monday morning smile! I just learned the city of North Miami is proposing to rezone 2 blocks of residential housing that's been here since 1950 to commercial..bwahhaa gee I wonder what that means? Who has already promised to build something big and ugly where my avocado and mango trees are? Why can't local government leave the stressed homeowner ALONE?
God bless! Whatever you are smoking, pass it over this way...
Aha, caught a case of swampstyle? Have some milk and cookies.
We can't afford for Floridians to stop smoking. The government is going to make too much money on taxing them. That's why the Feds subsidize it and that's why we subsidize the Feds.
I think we should tax all the other stuff that is bad for you. We would make soooo much money. It's insane, dude!
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