Stop Complaining. Big Deal: Benzene. by Geniusofdespair

This column is a recipe to fix problems (or appear that you are trying) in Miami Dade County. I am going to say what a lot of you are thinking but not saying. I have learned something from watching lobbyists, how to talk trash.

First and foremost always say to absolutely everything: We have to strike a balance. That makes the liberal or other position seem “unbalanced” at the get-go.

Economic Engines
Second, describe yourself as an “economic engine” when asking for a pass in Government. At all costs, we must not curtail economic engines. Ever! They include, but are not limited to: real estate development, rock mining, tourism, the port, energy production, road building and the airport. Stopping or limiting these engines in the name of drinking water, safety or clean air should be forbidden because economics always trumps health. For example this is the righteous argument for rock mining:

We need the hard rock that only Miami Dade can supply (makes Miami leaders feel special). That crappy rock upstate is too soft so there is no substitute, so we must put drinking water at risk to carcinogens to get that hard rock for more road beds. You wouldn’t want to stop road building would you? Roads are economic engines just like rock mining (now they have two economic engines). Finish off with: We must strike a balance. (Works well doesn’t it?).

More Arguments:
If we stop developers from always changing the zoning on land with the Florida Hometown Democracy Petition we will not have any new jobs in Miami Dade and you will have to go vote every other week on these changes. If we don’t let FP&L put two more reactors at Turkey Point you will have to run your house air conditioner at 80 degrees in the summer, if at all. It is nuclear or smelly, dirty coal. Take your pick. (Sounds like: cut off my finger or my toe?)

If you touch an economic engine scads of people will be out of work — especially African Americans and Hispanics. All those (minimum wage) jobs will disappear. The economy will come to a grinding halt. Unions will riot in the street and there will be chaos as people line up by the thousands at Walmart and Home Depot for "good" jobs.

We all know where to put the blame for scaring away more diversified businesses but we don’t talk about that. We don’t ever say the cost of doing business in the county with high priced lobbyists, etc. is the real reason we have limited job choices.

Above all don’t tell the tourists anything. We especially don’t tell them that almost all the fish in Florida have mercury advisories on them. We keep the beaches just clean enough so those horrific Board of Health signs don’t have to be posted and we truck in as much sand as possible so the tourists think it is a real "natural" beach.

Social Programs
We should not care about social issues. If we close our eyes, all these problem people will move away. We should not be concentrating on affordable housing because the people who need it are losers and if they won’t get a job, let them live on the street, or better yet, move. For all we care, they can join all the sexual predators that we already have living under that bridge. If they are working 40 hours a week making minimum wage, they are still losers. They should pick themselves up and get a job making more money. The fact that blacks have an unemployment rate of almost 15% in Miami-Dade (according to Dario Moreno, Ph.D.) only shows how they are not pulling up their boot straps correctly (and that scads of people are already out of work). The reality that most are not bi-lingual, in a job market that requires it, is of no consequence. Move.

We should abandon the public schools because “our” kids don’t go there. Our kids go to the publically funded charter schools which is a code for one race or ethnic background.

See, anyone can fix Miami. It ain’t rocket science.